Today is the day!!!
Posted Jan 20, 2009 10:05am
I woke up this morning feeling anxious and a little down. I didn't sleep much last night. I kept thinking about today and when I see that doctor walk in my room. I know he is going to tell me the news that is going to change my life forever. I been praying all morning and asking hevenely father to help get me through this day with courage and strength. I have to stay strong for my precious little boy. He means so much to me and I will do anything and everything to help get him through this. He is my rock as I am his. Its been a rollar coaster of emotions like you would not believe. As my mom always tells me "This to shall pass" and that it will. My family has been so wonderful and supportive. This life changing experience has pulled my family so close and our bond is unbreakble. My boyfriend Jayson and his family are so loving and comforting. Its like we are one big family now. I am so greateful for them. I dont know what I would do without my wonderful family. Their being strong for me while im being strong for my gorgeous baby boy. I thought it was so funny last night after my family left. This nurse from other end of the hall came into my room and asked me "Is this your parents first grand baby??" and I said "No, why?" and she said "cause I have never seen so much love and support in one our rooms before" She kinda choked up alittle when she was saying that. :) MY FAMILY ROCKS!!!
Last night was so amazing. I got to hold my beautiful son for the first time in 5 days. I can't even tell you how good it felt. He was looking at me like he was in heaven. He would not take his little eyes off of me. It was so emotional. I honestly could feel his pain but I believe that its so healing for a baby to be held by his mother when their sick. Its like I was giving him MY healing strength just by holding and loving him. I believe since my baby boy is sick with cancer he's closer to hevenely father then ever. When I was holding him its like hevenely father was holding me and giving me his strength to be strong for Travyn. it was so special and spiritual. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE!!!!
Keep Praying for Travyn. Thank you all for your love and support. You have all helped me get through this with your messages. I love them all thank you.